The Love Movement
We are starting a movement, centered around love to help raise the vibration of this beautiful planet.
You can expect to hear casual conversations and interviews with some amazing people as we chat about many topics all centered around three main pillars:
Loving Yourself: Explore practical tips, personal stories, and scientific insights on self-love.
Loving Others: Hear inspiring stories of kindness, empathy, and connection. From random acts of love to deep friendships, we celebrate the beauty of human bonds
Loving the Planet: Dive into discussions about environmental consciousness, sustainable living, and our responsibility to care for our beautiful home. Discover how self love extends to nurturing the Earth and creating a more compassionate world.
Tune in to “The Love Movement” and be part of a global shift toward more love, understanding, and positive change.
The Love Movement
Ep 3:Transformative Journey: Brian's Life-Changing Experience with Plant Medicine
This is actually our first episode we recorded, it was not planned at all, Brittany just grabbed her phone and hit record.
Can a mushroom trip really transform your life? Join us as we recount Brian's profound five-hour journey with magic mushrooms that brought a deep emotional release unseen in our 23-year relationship. We begin with our cautious introduction to psychedelics, sparked by a friend and the rich fungi of Vancouver Island, which led Brian to start microdosing. This new practice significantly improved his mood and patience, especially as a parent.
Experience the emotional highs and lows of Brian's intense trip on blue meanies, a stronger strain of mushrooms. We delve into the importance of setting intentions, the guided visualizations by music, and the profound moments of confronting and healing long-standing personal issues. By bypassing the ego, Brian unlocked childhood memories, confronted feelings of shame, and discovered a deeper sense of self-worth. The surreal experience of communicating with the planet through the mycelium of mushrooms reignited his passion for nature and emphasized the healing power of inner work.
As our journey unfolds, we explore the concept of raising vibrations and using guided psychedelic sessions for personal growth. Sharing our own insights, we underscore the significance of integration and acting on discoveries for continuous self-improvement. Listen in as we discuss embracing new experiences, such as riding a horse, and the evolving path of self-discovery and connection with the world around us.
Our next episode is loaded with lots of shroomy info and a great resource to begin your plant medicine journey :)
Brian's Mushroom Playlist
James Xander Mushroom Trip Checklist
James Xander, Beginners guide to psychedelic trips: 8 things to know before your first trip.
James Xander Mushroom Podcast - Psychedelic podcast with amazing interviews.
Andrew Hubberman, How Psilocybin can rewire your brain, it's therapeutic Benefits & risks (he has many other mushrooms related ones as well) -
Disclaimer:
1. Legal Considerations: Personal use of psilocybin (the primary psychoactive compound in magic mushrooms) is legal in some places, but retail sales are generally not permitted. Adults can grow, possess, and share psilocybin for personal use, but selling it is prohibited.
2. Responsible Use: While some people explore the therapeutic potential of psilocybin, it’s essential to emphasize responsible use. Always verify the legality of psilocybin in your specific location and follow any local regulations. If you choose to consume magic mushrooms, consider factors like set, setting, and dosage to ensure a safe and positive experience.
3. Never eat or pick wild mushrooms. This discussion is solely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to persuade anyone to try mushrooms. The discussion is our own personal view and should not be taken as fact, always do your own research.
Disclaimer:
Remember that individual responses to psychedelics can vary, and it’s crucial to approach them with respect and caution. 🍄✨
you're listening to the love movement with your hosts britney and brian johnston.
Speaker 2:We're starting a movement centered around love to help raise the vibration of this beautiful planet.
Speaker 1:if that's your vibe, hang out with us as we chat about many topics all centered around three main pillars Loving yourself, loving each other and loving the planet. So if you're ready, let's jump in. Okay, here we are. What's the date? March?
Speaker 2:March 9th 8th 8th.
Speaker 1:8th March 8th, 2024. At 9pm.
Speaker 2:We have a sleeping toddler.
Speaker 1:We were just about to make dream boards and I just had this tug to like have the conversation I was having with Brian, but to record it because I don't know. I've had this tug on my heart for a while, this nudge saying to do a podcast, but I keep not doing it because brian's not into it and we don't even know if this is like episode one of a podcast. If it was a podcast, we don't even know what it's called.
Speaker 1:Well, uh, so we just thought we would hit record and talk about this very interesting topic, but I have to like rewind before we talk about it. So what we're actually going to talk about is a pretty big mushroom trip journey that brian took today for about five hours yeah um, I can tell you, being with brian for over 23 years, that I have never, ever seen him cry like that. I mean, maybe when I had Marty you cried.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was a hard cry yeah.
Speaker 1:But like I was busy having a baby so I didn't really notice how much you were crying. Like I noticed but didn't really notice, like, but today you were like letting it out, um, and so I just have to like backtrack, because, if anybody is listening to this and doesn't know us, we are two people who, like, don't do any drugs or smoke any anything like we're the biggest anti, for sure, cigarette people you've ever met.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very health conscious. Where I don't like being, I had to do what I had to take that one time for my, my back.
Speaker 1:Oh, something Um, um. What was that called?
Speaker 2:hydromorphone yeah for my back and it just. I just felt disconnected from my body and I didn't like it. So I just dealt with the pain.
Speaker 1:I don't like drugs basically don't do drugs, we don't do drugs.
Speaker 2:I don't like weed. I don't like how that makes you feel.
Speaker 1:Just yeah, I like being straight up, but somehow this mushroom business and I don't know if this happened since we moved to Vancouver Island in the fall of 2022 or what or like. Where did this mushroom journey start for me? I was inspired by a friend who actually went to I think it was Costa Rica and did a intensive like.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it would be called, but she did a mushroom trip with like a mushroom ceremony ceremony type thing, yeah, and she did a podcast talking about her journey and I was like Whoa, that was so deep and so amazing and I want that experience. And I remember coming out and talking to you and saying I want to do mushrooms and you were like what, the girl who's never tried a drug in her life and then it got you, I think, opening up to me talking about how you wanted to do micro dosing I wanted to do so when we moved out here.
Speaker 2:Well, even before we moved out here, I always thought mushrooms were really cool. And then we got to the island and there's freaking fungus everywhere so many mushrooms, so many different kinds of mushrooms.
Speaker 2:I started cataloging them and it was just like this really neat world all about fungus out here, like it's crazy, the cool kinds of fungus. I started learning about the different things yeah, cataloging it and then I started looking up stuff on magic mushrooms because I know they, they grow out here and I started actually actively looking for them all around here. This is before britney even told me that her friend was doing this mushroom thing. It's like I was called to find these magic mushrooms, just weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just weird, and I started learning about the.
Speaker 1:And you had an app on your phone that he literally takes a picture of the mushroom and it pulls up exactly what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you take a picture of a mushroom in a couple different angles and then it'll give you some results and you can kind of verify what mushroom it is, and yeah, so I started looking for magic mushrooms and then Brittany tells me her friend's doing them. She wants to do them, and I'm like, huh, this has been something I wanted to do for a while. And then it turns out I've been looking high and low all over the island here for mushrooms and we've had magic mushrooms growing on our front doorstep.
Speaker 1:Literally our front doorstep, Our front doorstep the whole time.
Speaker 2:It's like that story where the guy's trying to find diamonds and he yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he goes all over. You know he sells his farm because he wants to go find these diamonds and he goes all over the countryside finding diamonds and he comes back like end of his life, to where his farm was and the farm has got the you know big giant fence around it and there's guards everywhere and he tries to get in and he's asking him like what is this? He's like oh, it's the beer's diamond, mind. Yeah, he was sitting on it the whole time. So I'm looking all over the world for these mushrooms and they're outside my front door and I'm okay, that's a sign that I need to explore this a little more, because we have magic mushrooms on our front doorstep, like so then you start.
Speaker 1:You then you ordered for micro dosing yeah.
Speaker 2:So I ordered some stuff for micro dosing and do that like four times a week. I kind of have a schedule and I say it's, it's helped my mood a lot it's definitely helped my patience with our toddler, who likes to test me a lot. I get annoyed very easily.
Speaker 2:Well, human design could be another topic that we talk about, because you and him have very opposite human designs, designs, which is part of the frustration so yeah, I don't know, I feel makes me feel like more present and less definitely less anxious about things and less worrisome and, I don't know, maybe judgmental. It's just like just go with the flow more and stop worrying about all the little things.
Speaker 1:I mean it's not.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make you perfect, but it definitely helps with some of the bullshit.
Speaker 1:I haven't got into it, but I also haven't been consistent like you and I felt like when I did try a little bit, I just felt like not me, and so I just stopped, but I might try again later, anyways. So then he's really been looking to do like a bigger trip and I'm worried because I think he needs to go to costa rica and spend thousands of dollars to go to a ceremony somewhere. But you found this guy online. That's been sort of like a mentor in a way yeah, I found a dude from.
Speaker 2:He's actually from vancouver, he's living in bali now. His name is james zander. He's got is his podcast. He's on Spotify, apple, all the stuff and he's done, oh man, like 50 plus trips and he helps people, you know, with mushroom trips and his podcast. He gives you all kinds of information. So I just started like when I want to do something, I go like all in learning about it. So I started learning everything I could about mushrooms. You know the pros, the cons, what to expect on a mushroom trip, and this guy's got a good checklist too. I started listening to Andrew Huberman, you know the.
Speaker 2:Huberman labs stuff. He's got some really good podcasts with some interviews on some like major academic dudes that have done studies and stuff. So I went through all that kind of what actually happens in your body when you're doing it. So it's like the science part of it that I was learning and then also what's happening in your head, what can potentially happen, what can go wrong, what can go right, yeah, so I felt I gathered enough information. I was like, okay, well, I can, I can do this on my own. I can do a trip. I don't need to go spend thousands of dollars, and I think when you do want to do a trip, it's a pretty personal thing and I, for myself, I feel like I would have a better experience with Not having someone else's energy around me, right, just solo my energy, everything.
Speaker 1:Everything me. I'm the trip sitter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Bernie was a trip sitter. So you need a trip sitter you do need a trip sitter, just someone. So people need to know where you're at and when you're, when you're going to do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I don't go in the room. He's in the bedroom doing it and he's in a dark room.
Speaker 2:You have to have a blind. Yeah, so if you listen to James Zander's thing, he's got a checklist and everything is about set in setting. So you want to get a safe room set up. Um, you know you have all your things ready. You know you got your water, you got your Kleenex, you got your blankets, you got all your stuff. A safe environment that when you're in another world, you're never going to feel scared about anything happening around you. Like you don't do this shit in a park, you don't do it at a party, this isn't someone in your house has to know you're doing it you have to know you're doing it.
Speaker 2:This isn't like when people there's a stigma around doing mushrooms that people would. That's out there and it's because of people would just like take mushrooms and go to parties and it's raving and seeing fricking goblins and this like there's different ways to do things and that's doing mushrooms for like an entertainment factor. The way I wanted to do it was for a therapeutic factor to you know, work through inner struggles and stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, they say that you know that a big trip on mushrooms is like years and years of therapy in a five to eight-hour session.
Speaker 2:And I can confirm that after today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when you do want to start, you need to start small. So with the microdosing I could notice a little bit of effect if I took a little bit too much. So you gotta, you know, get your micro dose um, potent, or your micro dose, uh, your dose, I guess. Right, you can have too much but too little. You just want to have enough of a micro dose when you're micro dosing. So it doesn't really do anything like it doesn't affect you mentally.
Speaker 2:It's actually. It actually is doing something. So you just want to have it so low that you don't notice any like mental changes from taking the drug, if that makes sense, and then when you're gonna the plant medicine it's plant medicine. It's plant medicine. That's what it is, and that's a whole other topic. We'll call it instead of the drug yeah, I feel like we're drug addicts over here well if we're talking about if you want to go down the whole rabbit hole of big pharma and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I think we might have content for a podcast we could anyway when you do.
Speaker 2:When you do want to do a, a trip, you need to start small. You know, start low, go slow. It's kind of the thing so you don't know how you're going to react to mushrooms, you don't know how much of a dose you need, like some like britney might take like one gram, and it could be like me taking three grams, because we get said it, we get a tolerance to it right because I'm microdosing.
Speaker 2:Every day I have more of a tolerance now. So the first time I did it I took uh, I think it was like two grams, and so you take it. You wait about an hour seeing how you're feeling and if you need to redose you can take a little bit more at that next hour. But I I didn't take enough the first time to get really crazy I did. There's no visuals.
Speaker 1:There was do you know how much you took? Do you remember?
Speaker 2:uh, I have this book I have here. It's got all my notes for every time I've taken anything your mushroom book it's my mushroom book, so the first time I took it you took golden teacher was the kind right the first time uh, it's a golden teacher. Yeah, so it was 1.8 grams is what it was, and it was really cool, like you like the music the music was super intense, like I've got he's wearing an eye mask.
Speaker 1:He's had his headphones on in a dark room yeah, so you do have to have headphones on.
Speaker 2:You need to have a good playlist. Music is everything.
Speaker 1:Music is going to set the tone for maybe you could share your mushroom playlist I have an amazing mushroom playlist that I absolutely love and if you know brian, he used to be a dj.
Speaker 2:So yeah, who knew you'd?
Speaker 2:be djing for mushroom, yeah, I kind of curated this list and I've set it up so it kind of has a flow start to finish and at the end it's when you're coming out. Yeah, it's really good, um, anyway, so I know, know some neat things on that very first trip I did, but it wasn't anything like therapeutic, it was just kind of like fun and interesting and at this point I was just trying to explore my boundaries and my limits and where I needed to be. So then I did a second one on February 2nd so it was Groundhog Day and I took more than I did the first time and these were a little bit stronger mushrooms they're called blue meanies and it was a little bit more intense and some neat things happened, but it wasn't like just to clarify too, like it wasn't the actual mushroom, like you have it in a capsule yeah, it's ground up in a capsule and it's got, like you know, ginger root in it and some other nootropic, some other mushrooms in there, like non-psychoactive mushrooms, and they have effects.
Speaker 2:They interact with the mushroom in different ways in your brain. Anyway, whole other story. But, um, yeah, there's a second trip I did. It wasn't super intense or anything, but very neat experience and I knew I just needed to go further with it, so I planned for today.
Speaker 1:He told me two days ago hey, PS, I'm doing this mushroom trip on Friday.
Speaker 2:I get lots done.
Speaker 1:Like yeah you know it's a good work day for me, so I.
Speaker 2:I took them out of the capsules and I just put the powder directly in a small shake this morning, and usually mushrooms take about an hour to start working in your system. 15 minutes later I'm like I'm doing a meditation and I couldn't even finish this meditation. I was like, okay, I'm gone.
Speaker 1:And then half hour later I was like full into this trip, which was like do you feel like you're like in another planet, or like what does it feel like?
Speaker 2:it's you, it's like you, almost like you start to to disconnect and your, your body, kind of. You know it. You know it's going to be different for every single person. It's going to depend on your physiology, your mental state. And then when you do go into a trip, besides the set and setting, you need to set intentions for what you're doing, because it's a plant medicine, there's a lot of energy around it. You need to have an intention of what you want to experience. But when you're in it, you can't have expectations of where you want it to go. You have to let it guide you. You have to. It's a surrendering, it's yeah.
Speaker 2:So the way you did four grams, I did four grams and mixed directly in powder with a shake. I cannot believe how fast that was working. They say an hour like half hour later I was toast, wow, and it would come over. Sensation came over me in waves. My lips and arms would go a little bit numb. Came over me in waves. My nipped lips and arms would go a little bit numb and Then I would go like it almost like going like another layer deeper, another layer deeper, and there's like it's like there was like a Veil or like a boundary that I need to cross in this. You start getting the music kind of guides you, but you start having like a visuals to the music almost, and it's like you're dreaming, but you're awake and like you're aware of your physical body, but you're so aware of your physical body, but you can detach from it almost and like say like I had a lump in my throat lots today and I had to like clear my throat a bit, so I would be.
Speaker 2:Actually heard you doing that, yeah, so I'd be in the you know, in my mind doing whatever, and then I go and it brings me back to my body in that moment, but then you just like go right back into, like whatever you were visualizing, whatever rabbit hole you're, you're going down, but I had to cross this, this veil, this boundary, and it's kind of like your ego yeah, I was just gonna say that's what it sounds like you gotta go because when you're in the, when you get into the mushroom chip, it it kind of your ego goes away and you can be vulnerable, and you can.
Speaker 2:You can go layers deep into things that have been bothering you your whole life, that you've pushed down, and you're able to bring them up. You're able to work through them. But in your daily, conscious state you never would, because your ego's in the way, always trying to protect yourself. But when you take, so, when I got through that veil, it was like, okay, I'm going another level deep. And every time my lips and my hands would go numb and tingly, I'd have this wave of sensation and I was like, okay, we're going to go another level deep. And it was just like going deeper and deeper every time. Wow, and it was just. It's insane, the stuff that I seen, that I didn't even stuff I didn't even know I needed to work on.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Came up, but I'm still trying to figure out. Yeah, I know Ask more questions.
Speaker 1:What's the first thing you want to share, the part that you first shared with me? Is that one of the first things that happened with you?
Speaker 2:The one that got you really emotional. Yeah, so a bunch of stuff happened with my brother and my mom and being in a womb.
Speaker 1:So let's just give some backstory about your sibling situation here. First for context.
Speaker 2:Okay, so my sister passed away when she was five months old. Um, this was six years before I was born and I think I found out in grade seven, grade six I found out that this happened I didn't know she existed until I was in grade six and that really really affected me at that point how?
Speaker 1:How did it affect?
Speaker 2:you. I cried a lot. I think I felt almost betrayed by my parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for not telling you.
Speaker 2:For not telling me and I don't know. I just remember I got a picture book together for her. I had all these little photo albums and I was carrying it around at school.
Speaker 1:Aw.
Speaker 2:And I remember I was going to the counselor lots at that time to talk about it. It was just like a weird thing. It's like somebody died that you didn't even know existed, but they would have been your sister. It was a really weird thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it was like I was in grade 6 at the time.
Speaker 1:It's a vulnerable age.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say I'm really vulnerable because of how teenagers are and in school and there's all that pressure stuff going on there. And then people would make fun of me from this book. What? Oh yeah, like it's just, kids are dumb.
Speaker 1:Kids are dumb.
Speaker 2:Anyway.
Speaker 1:And then your younger brother is nine.
Speaker 2:Eight and a half years younger than me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, so lots of gaps between the three of you.
Speaker 2:but anyways, okay, back to the trip. So you were in the womb, this womb space. Yeah, I was in this like really wild womb space Um PS.
Speaker 1:it's international women's day today. As he did this trip, he didn't even know. And so much of the story he's about to tell you guys is so much feminine energy.
Speaker 2:It's actually the amount of feminine energy in this is crazy okay, so back back, yeah, so we're like me and my bro were like in this weird, like almost like a beehive womb space and we're just like bouncing around and it came back to this like singular point, and it was in my mom's like belly, and it was like my mom's womb and it was like where me and my bro initially connected as we shared the same womb as right, we shared the same space in my mom's womb and it was just like this really weird, like holy shit, and I just had this absolutely insane loving connection to him. When that was happening and you have emotions that come over you can't even explain my face was just like pulling back with like tears of like there were joyous tears though right and you just said you felt so connected to him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just, and I was just crying because I just like had so much love and connection for him and it was just deep, like you don't have feelings like that in like real life, in real life. So having that there, it's just like I just wanted to like phone him right there and be like I love you, bro, and even just you saying this again hours later, like you're getting all emotional again yeah, so that was really neat.
Speaker 2:There's just like that connection and how we shared this womb and like weird right like eight and a half years apart yeah, it's just like a strange.
Speaker 1:It's weird because you felt that connected, but in real life it was eight and a half years apart, but you felt that connected in that, yeah, space we're bouncing around like little kids, but we're bees on like a spider net trampoline thing inside this three-dimensional space influenced by the show marty's watching on prime called the hive. Yeah, probably, little bees.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyways okay so then, the next part is the coolest part so then I'm in just picture, just internal blackness with a little box in the middle and it's your childhood bedroom from above, with, like, the ceiling peeled off and you're like peeking into this box.
Speaker 2:You're looking down into your bedroom, okay and then I'm in my bedroom and I start remembering all the times I was in that bedroom, you know, living it up, doing my bedroom, just whatever I did in my bedroom, and then moments where I felt shameful for you know this, that or the other thing. And I like this. I think I moved into that bedroom when I was four or five, what? Yeah, into that bedroom, and I left when I was like 15 or 16.
Speaker 2:So I had a lot of different, lot of years in that same bedroom and I just was like wanting to, wanting to escape that feeling of all the shame I was feeling. But I was like, no, you need to stay here and confront this and um like overcome whatever you know. All these moments like this isn't, this, isn't you, it's things, it's how you felt, but it was like I could witness myself as a little kid. I just want to like hug myself almost yeah and be like it's okay yeah, it's so strange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, getting emotional because this is a crazy part. So something that actually happened in real life in that bedroom is it was getting dark and I was in the back of my closet and I was like, oh man, I wish I had light on. And at that moment the light in the bedroom turned on. This is a real life story now. So I was in my dream remembering that moment, or in the trip. I was in the dream remembering that moment, or in in the trip. I was in the trip remembering that moment. And then I went into the closet and the light turned on, just like it did in real life it had in real life, and I was like I want to know what's on the other side of of that, like that light. That's like I want to know the, the energy, the power how did that happen?
Speaker 2:what turned that light on? It was just like a question of like I want to know something from like another realm, or it was like one of those like really deep kind of questions scared no, I wasn't scared.
Speaker 2:So at the back of this closet was just like a black door and I crawled back there and it has a little white dot, was like the doorknob and it was like almost like there's light shine through it. And I pushed it open and I went in to this like eternal blackness and soon as that happened, I got embraced by just overwhelming love, like over fucking whelming love, like you've no idea. And it was my sister and I like it was just like this strong embrace and I felt like I was being absolutely squished up onto like a ceiling, just squished with love, like trying to like hug me so hard. And it was my freaking sister this whole time and I just had this insane realization. It was like she was holding my arm but I couldn't see her.
Speaker 1:She was like an energy it was an energy, not like a person. I couldn't.
Speaker 2:There was no form, it was just like you just knew it was her it was her and it was just like I had all these, like a flashback of all these different moments of my life, and that she was with me the whole time you're turning 41 this year and you've just realized she's been with you the whole time. I always had felt that, but I never. It was just like a feeling.
Speaker 1:Well, and you've never said that to me even.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean Like at the things that we hold to ourself.
Speaker 2:And yeah, wow. So while this is happening, my face is just like feels like it's melting off. It's just like wants to. I'm just blubbering and crying with just not sadness, with just like joy, like just the amount of love that I felt there was just off the fricking charts.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of when you hear people talk about like past or like um near death, near death encounters, yeah and that's everybody explains, is this like overwhelming feeling of love and I feel like that's like somehow you experience that without like actually the dying part yeah and is that just like the removal of the ego? Or like, how could you experience that it's because, also when you die, you'd have the removal of the ego? Or like, how could you experience that? It's because also when you die, you'd have the removal of the ego.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, it's uh, one of those things they they talk about a mushroom chip being ineffable, which is like you can't explain to someone what's going on, how you like what happened, like you can try to explain things in words, but you just it's just impossible, it's ineffable, it's ineffable. Yeah, so that was like ridiculously deep. And then from there, when she was hugging me and I had this realization that she's been with me my whole life, it's circled back to being in the womb, in the womb thing with my brother, and it was like there was three, three of us there. Now it wasn't like people, it was just like three, like little energies, almost like bouncing around, and it's like we're just three like there's just this connection between the three of you.
Speaker 2:That's unreal yeah, and you're just like it's a little easier to talk about it now than I did okay you guys have.
Speaker 1:You would have seen or heard him talk about this after he came. I've he couldn't even talk, like you were just crying so hard and went through a lot of kleenexes and I just was like, let it out, like that's what this was for.
Speaker 2:Obviously this is your therapy oh, there's just so much therapy like this could be like a three-hour thing just talking about all the stuff that happened is there anything else I want to talk about next, because you said that cool part too about like the like you holding the earth or something oh, there was. Yeah, there was a one. At one point I was and stuff was happening like it was upside down like yeah, you said, everything was upside down yeah, it's like I was hugging the earth, but I like it's like I'm.
Speaker 2:The earth is like up, like everything was like up. Weird, it was strange, but I was hugging the earth and I was just like feeling its energy and it was just like I want to cry just thinking about everything. It was just like all the like injustices and how we, how we treat the earth and all the damage we're doing to it, and it was just like I just got images of all of the things that I've seen, like oil spills and deforestation and just pollution and fucking everything, and it was just you said the earth felt sad.
Speaker 2:It felt sad and I could like. It's like I could feel it and I just was picking up its energy and I just started to freaking cry again. It's like I just wanted to cry for it because it's like we're just treating this planet like a fucking garbage dump and it's horrible.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you know brian, you know that he's always been so passionate about the environment yeah, so that was it was almost like confirmation of yeah, your feelings yeah, so that was.
Speaker 2:That was really hard. But there's like the neat thing about going on a mushroom trip is it's like you have to surrender because you can't just like get up and walk away.
Speaker 1:Like you're in it. Once you take it, you have to let this journey go through.
Speaker 2:You can't try to force it. You have to allow it to do its thing and let it take you on the journey.
Speaker 1:It's like forced meditation yeah, what was the part about? It was like with the earth, but like the communicating or something like communicating like something with the earth or like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't remember what you're saying maybe or with the mushrooms oh the mushrooms.
Speaker 2:Oh right, so yeah, man, this is actually the second time this came up, but this was way more powerful than the first time on that other trip I had. It was like. It was like we've lost our sense of communication with the earth and the trees and the animals and everything, because as a society we segregate ourselves, we think we're separate from nature, so we're over here and nature's over there. We're unable to communicate with it anymore. And then it's like these mushrooms came along and they naturally evolved to get you know magic mushrooms. They naturally did their way. That's not a man-made drug or anything right, it's a plant. It's a plant. So we take this plant and all of a sudden, those like waves of communication with the earth, like open up again. It was like the weirdest thing. It's like I, it's like the mushroom mycelium were like growing into my feet and into my body and it's like I could talk to the planet again the planet yeah wow it's like I could talk to nature and everything it's like.
Speaker 2:It's like it was like a channel that we had, just like we stopped using our natural skills to talk to the planet and then these came along and now we're able to speak to the planet again through mushrooms. It was so crazy Just seeing like roots and mycelium and whatever growing up through in your body and just like it was wild and is that the one where, then, you started like flying?
Speaker 2:oh, that was a different thing oh my god, there's a lot of things going on yeah, it's just weird because you have these like crazy moments where you want to cry and then something beautiful happen and you just can't get this smile off your face. You'll just be sitting there in the dark by yourself with mask on, listening to music and you just like you're smiling and emotions are so high, it's just so much joy. I had this one where I was hiking on the. It was down the wanfuka trail, where I just love being out there, and I was like dancing just on the trail, just like soaking all in, and all of a sudden I just kind of became like a bird and I went above and I was flying everywhere and I started going up the coast of the island, up the coast of British Columbia, over like Alaska, over to like Russia, and while I was doing this, the whole planet was like being, I was like spreading love and it was like wow.
Speaker 2:I was just spreading love everywhere I went and it was just this insane joy of love and I just like watched everything. It's like wherever my love went, everything was turning kind of like an orangey, yellow, just like on like a map almost. And I was way above and I was just going so fast. I was spreading my love to like the whole almost and I was way above and I was just going so fast I was spreading my love to like the whole planet and I just had so much joy just giving love everywhere.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god it was crazy.
Speaker 2:And then the song changed while I was in the middle of it. And it's weird when a song changes because whatever thought plane you were on shifts because that's when it went from like if this more feminine energy to like masculine.
Speaker 1:But that was a different time.
Speaker 2:That was a different time, but it was like. It was like I want to finish sending all this love and the song's changing and it's trying to pull me out. So then it goes into like something else.
Speaker 1:So where did the lion part come in?
Speaker 2:So yeah, I had all this men.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I had all this, this um a lot of feminine energy, which is international woman's day.
Speaker 2:That's so weird, it's very. It's just like a lot of a lot of love and uh, joy. And and then there was just like a time where I was the the music change and it was like a dominant kind of music with like a drum beat, and I just felt like powerful and I was like a lion and I was in like field and I was like charging forward and it was just like a you know like a scene, a movie almost, where this lion comes out and he's just like gonna take charge and whatever, he's going to go kill it with his prey or whatever. And I just felt so powerful and I said to myself I said, oh, my masculine energy is coming out and it's taking over. Now, now that we've had so much, this is like conversation going on in my head. I'm like I feel this masculine energy. It feels like raw and then all of a sudden it was like I cowered down and I stopped and I just felt tiny and it was like myself feeling like unworthy almost, and I just so you, when you're in like a trip, you're experiencing it Like it's like you're the person that's first person, kind of thing, and then you can zoom out, take a step back and assess something from like the outside.
Speaker 2:And I noticed I said this is a cycle that you always do. You almost like it's like you self-sabotage it's like you. You get excited about something, you go after it and then you talk yourself out of achieving what you deserve. And I just had to like yell at myself almost. And there's points in this cool spot where I was hugging there's a completely different time than the first time when I was hugging the earth. But I just held the earth and there was a message that came. It was like it's like, you're like everything, just as you are, you're, I see you just the way you are, or something like that. It's like it. Just the earth just loved me for who I was. I didn't have to impress anyone, I didn't have to change, I didn't have to, just which is worthiness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's exactly what it is.
Speaker 1:We've been talking about the book Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima, and that's what she said is. Worthiness is like fully accepting yourself exactly as we are right now, not having to be somebody different. That's exactly what you're describing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the earth so cool tell, told me this, and I mean that's why I feel so comfortable in nature, because it doesn't judge me, it doesn't it just lets me be right it was just like the neatest thing. And then I started to cry again. It was just like you know more crying today, then oh man, I did more crying today than I have since Marty was born yeah, what was the biggest, what was the biggest lesson out of all of this?
Speaker 1:like, what are you taking away?
Speaker 2:Well that my sister's beside me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's very powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes me want to tear up. And just that I guess I'm yeah, I'm worthy, and like there was a lot of moments where I went through my life and it's like I could pinpoint all the like pain points I had where I felt less than I didn't feel worthy, but I could watch myself as like a third you know person from you know, zoomed out, looking at myself, not feeling worthy in that moment or doing this or yeah, it was just, it's just weird.
Speaker 1:It's so neat.
Speaker 2:It's very neat. It's like you're watching a movie of your life and you can see how you were reacting in different times and where you weren't treating yourself justly, I guess weren't treating yourself, justly, I guess.
Speaker 1:So you said to me today that, like I feel like this was the trip you were always wanting to go on and it just never happened until today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is one of many.
Speaker 1:And you said you wouldn't want to do that every month and I said, oh, maybe about every six months and you're like, maybe every three, like how often do? You think you'll actually do this?
Speaker 2:Well, I've done it the last three months in a row because I didn't get what I wanted the first two. Now I kind of know my limits.
Speaker 1:Because you had to take a break. Today you said I had to take a break today.
Speaker 2:It was so much. This isn't even half of all the stuff that I went through. It was pretty wild. That I went through Like this is. It was pretty wild, but I think if, knowing how intense this can be, you really have to be mentally prepared for it, you really have to know what to expect and be ready to surrender and go through some shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You really have to want to change and know that there's going to be shit that comes up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is like some deep frickin' inner healing work.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And another book that I bought that I had on our coffee table just sitting there collecting dust and brian picked it up and it's called the mountain, is you?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, I've started reading that the last couple days, but I walked out of the bedroom today still buzzing.
Speaker 1:Wasn't quite done, but I looked at that and hungry I was very hungry he always wants a grilled cheese after his mushroom dress.
Speaker 2:I looked at this book called the Mountain Is you and I'm like God damn, the mountain is definitely you. Nothing outside is ever going to fix. No amount of money or anything can ever fix what's going on on the inside. It has to be done by yourself. Well, yourself, but you gotta work it's inner work and you have to want to want to do it, but you have to recognize that there's things there and I think you gotta look at your life where you're being held back and what this, what limits you're hitting, and that's yeah, like, it's like your worth, right?
Speaker 1:I just think the timing of this is also insane, because you did this on international women's day, which we just put together.
Speaker 1:That that's weird with all the feminine energy and the things that came through that you weren't expecting, and that also I had a body talk sort of intuitive energy healing session yesterday with my friend Julie and she said that the year 2024 in neurology is number eight.
Speaker 1:If you add it up it's number eight, which is like um, a year of abundance. And she said there's opportunity all around us but the only people that will like be able to take advantage of the opportunity are people that are vibrating at a very high level, like if you're vibrating at a low frequency, like, you know, just feeling low, and like the anxiety, depression, like low kind of vibe, you're not going to have that year of abundance, that you have to raise the vibration. And I feel like when you're in a mushroom trip and you sort of like, like you said, said go through that veil and you like drop the ego or whatever it is and you're, those emotions are so intense that you're having. It's almost like um. Julie has this like diagram or this image of a it's a conscious, it's the consciousness chart.
Speaker 2:I can't remember exactly something of consciousness, so the top is like the highest frequency you can vibrate at.
Speaker 1:That's enlightenment, yeah, and the bot, and like love that you were feeling this intense amount of love, love, gratitude, yeah, and at the bottom is like the fear and grief and very low, low frequency, but it's almost like when you do mushroom trip it just like takes you like zing right to the top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like fast, right top, yeah, like fast, right. Whereas in my session yesterday I was like around the middle, like around the courage level. She said it was about 100 frequency and you want to get up to about 500 frequency in order to like attract this abundance that's coming yeah, 700, I think, is this year which we'll never no forget, or like maybe, if you do, you get like bits of it in, like a trip like that.
Speaker 2:It almost seems like to me yeah, but like you couldn't, you couldn't get any of the stuff that you get out of a mushroom trip by talking to someone, because your ego's there you? Yeah, because when you're in therapy, your ego is still there you can't do so much sense you. There's no way you like you hear people.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I've been in therapy for 10 years and like you're in the same fucking place bro yeah, well, I had a person, I had a friend who said that they did a five gram mushroom trip with their therapist.
Speaker 2:It was an eight hour day five or three I think it was five five, that's heroic dose, that's no, it's a lot that's insane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could be wrong, but I'm caught. I double checked but I think it was five, but that's why, like I, I want this experience, but I'm scared to do it alone, like you are.
Speaker 1:Like, I'm like, take me to costa rica and put me in a situation like that not necessary I just want the experience, I want to go deep and let my ego go and, just like you know, because I love this stuff, and I want to know what my messages are too and the healing that I got to do, because we all have like generational trauma, all of us yeah, I still have more things that the things I went over today.
Speaker 2:Some of like I got through today, some of its stuff I wanted to explore and go deep on. Some of that I didn't even expect was coming. But there's still other things that in my day-to-day life I still want to tackle.
Speaker 1:Well, and let's face it, you're 40 years old, turning 41 this year, you've been on this so-called personal development journey. For when would you say, you really dove into it?
Speaker 1:I mean, I started my business 18 years ago and I guess that's when I started, 26 or so I think, is when I really started to do personal growth and it's like the first little stepping stone and dipping your toe in, and then it gets like deeper, and then you got into more energy work, and then you got into like other things, and now it's like this, like the next layer and level, yeah, right of like what you can uncover, and then you can keep doing it every few months to keep yeah, like there's going to be more layers, like I definitely want to do more.
Speaker 2:I just what I expect now. It's like I'm gonna I gotta mentally prepare mentally prepare myself even more because it's it's hard, it's hard work well, emotionally exhausting, obviously it's very emotionally exhausting, like I was like happy at one point. I had to get up to go to the bathroom but I was like I'm sitting there trying to take a leak and I'm like I'm not done. I got to go back in there and and do more, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:So do you think this is something everybody should do?
Speaker 2:I think everyone should do this, but most people a will never want to go after the shit that's holding them back. Um, they don't want to do the research and stuff to figure it out, like to educate themselves on what this experience would be, and you know, some people are just going to be like oh, mushrooms are, they're for druggies and hippies and that took me a little bit to get over because that's a stigma well, and the reason I listen to my friend's podcast is because the title of it was my experience with plant medicine.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, what's her plant medicine? Then I realized it was mushrooms. I was like, oh my god, she was doing mushrooms, because even I had that stigma. I am like the last person that will do a drug. I've never done a drug in my life. Yeah, I've never smoked a single thing in my life.
Speaker 2:I have no desire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not a drug but it's not a drug, it's plant medicine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the earth makes it on its own in our front yard in our front yard.
Speaker 1:Anyways, we just wanted to get this on audio for anybody that wants to learn more about this and just learn about that journey, and just for Brian to have this, uh like as a keepsake for himself and his really like his brother, I feel like will want to listen to this. Um, just a really cool experience I didn't want you to forget.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyone's ever done mushrooms in like a, like a party setting. You've never really done mushrooms.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:This is, this is mushrooms as a tool. Yeah, that's the difference. This is the yeah is this is mushrooms as a tool, yeah, that's the difference this is yeah, this is mushrooms as a tool to to heal, and a lot of yeah, it's it's self, a lot of self-work. So you got to really be wanting to.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's helping you vibe high and that's what you want in 2024. And then I also. Ironically, tomorrow is the super moon yeah, new moon. So it's a heightened time of manifesting, which is why we're sitting down to do dream boards and here we are recording our first possible podcast.
Speaker 2:We don't know yeah, apparently I'm in love with a horse, oh yeah oh my god, you gotta say that part quickly I had this crazy all my horse friends, I had this crazy part where I was like on a horse and it was taking me on this trip and I was just like so I was riding a horse and I just like bent forward and I had my hand around its like neck and I was like hugging it and squeezing it and like rubbing his side and I just freaking loved this horse and it was taking me all over and it was like because this horse was grounded to the earth through its feet and it was just like I felt connected to the horse and the earth and it was just weird. I just like, after that little moment happened with this horse, I just how much love I felt for this, like I was tearing up, I was so in love with this horse. It was so fucked up and I just got out of there well, I'm terrified of horses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I finished that moment. I was like you know, I'm just gonna go ride a horse. In town there's horses here. A lot of people have horses. I'm just gonna go do this. I feel like maybe this is something I should do. I wouldn't normally want to just go ride a horse, but sounds great, so we're gonna go ride a horse, but it sounds great, so we're going to go ride a horse. You got to follow through on this stuff, and that's the other thing. When it's not just going through the trip and experiencing all those things, the biggest part is called integration.
Speaker 2:You got to have a journal and you have to write the stuff down you got to, you know act on it act on it.
Speaker 1:So that there's progress between now and the next trip and the next lesson and the next layer, exactly it's. Uh, yeah, you're going through layers so, friends, what do you think should I do it? To keep up giving my low down on the journey?
Speaker 2:and should she come on the horse with me?
Speaker 1:definitely no, oh my gosh, okay everybody. Thanks for tuning in and listening to whatever this is.